nippleback: my dad called me to his room and he was like “there’s a monster under my bed” and i checked and it was one of those energy drinks omg
adamusprime: “look, they’re catching on. some girl on facebook said that ‘animal cruelty seriously needs to stop’ and it got nine likes. NINE. LIKES. we’re in trouble, boys. we gotta change our ways or we’re going under.”
Have you ever had *whispers* unprotected sex?
fishingboatproceeds: Four different people asked this. Guys. I HAVE A CHILD.
jennycraigslist: when im acting really sassy my mom tells me to “put a little less dressing on that attitude salad”
jimhocking: girls who call their boyfriends “daddy”..
neuewave: pretty sure my parents just made/ate dinner and didnt give me any. oh okay. didn’t realise i was oliver twist.
the matthew lewis school of successfully...
katnissuprising: cassjaytuck: thiscakeisnotalie: School President: Honor Students: COOKIE THE GUY FROM CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY THO.